My Dukes Poetry In Motion









Chapter 1- Should of Run This Town






If your ecstasy shifts from oaths too I don't knows, in a predicament. Line yourself up with an angel. It is me and my angel taken for taken.
 Locking our hands together, to teach you a lesson.

My Father is as clever as a club of neighbours. 
Liking the night because the defence for being high on life, is to teach you a lesson. Sustaining the licenses for both the holiday inn, and a hero gone with the wind! Etiquette- thud!

 I'm good with confirming when he was around, I couldn't accept without saying thank you. I couldn't rock without being spontaneous. Dreams come true.

You wouldn't stash without giving gifts, Collectibles are investments. Had it- better be a favourite character. For a lifetime.

 I wouldn't get intoxicated without learning something. I don't have to decide, before I make it. Or make it before I decide.
 Messaging me while causing my shock, He let me know I was already higher than the ceiling.

Making it like a contest; if he knew which time: I forgot- he was talking about- he'd repeat it. Without putting you on the spot.
 He was strong. Gotcha Strong. Made me look cool.

He could target an eight ball. Without seeing '' a please try again.'' He'd flip a mode from messy to clean. From renovations to clubs he'd pine with an ''a ha''! From the destitute to a pimp. He invested his intelligence surrendering to his honor. With a term that couldn't be erased like, etc, etc, am I right?

My father was the one you stamped contracts with and put it threw a crash test dummy course. Promising help is on its way.
 Say a kettle blew up, he'd hold you close and lay you down soft himself.

When you age; you find hair in odd places: hence the saying babies bottom. Its not a Renaissance, its an alien. Put your grills on! Bite the bullet. Go for the field goal, drop kicking with your left and right, Your either kissing teeth or your lips. Hoping not to let the cheer- leaders down.

We made extra fruity snacks! We both love competition. I'm sweeper , He's goalie. Maybe I'm the goalie now that he's missing, but I'd say I'm still earning my spot. Still need more google.







Chapter 2- Vica Verca



He's was there mano- a- mano a 3:00 am phone call, or a history lesson. I'm there too cater or to help you repent, to talk about the food chain. Stemming from Sylvia Brown. Reading horoscopes all my life, watching soap opera's.
 
We'd talk eating. Hes best friends with tomato juice and beans, I love bread and butter, and milkshakes.

Since computers have been around. Genius's are the new genesis. Everyone is smart, didn't you know?!
 

I think going punch for punch is funny. Think about your own tolerance level. Helps you learn how to play hacky- sac pretty fast.

If you haven't taken my goalie: give him a fair- battle; 
I'm saving our endangered style. Pa-lease! Although he is fly. The opponents were dominatrix's! Needing to take the room of the person I cared about. Good enough for a thorny crown.

Dad you do not need to stay in the back- room alone, not that mummification will ever be out, But panic- attacks were never in.

We're at the top of the food chain. I know your an old soul, but please you can stun excessive lectures from a side view, because soon all runts will be immune. We grew up and we still love you. And still have morals and values.

Praise the noise I make, is at a pitch- you couldn't miss. At the top of a roller- coaster,  So to the quick- you wonder where you are, and why? You heard me!

 Excuse me; but I knew in person I saw you: unexpected- wrestling; with the raw. 


I would hate to see my dad on his knee's, so I joined him.
 I echo singing in the background; telling telemarketer's: to hold on. I put them on hold, so I could scream!    
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you so much everyday, still to this day. X 1000000001010100101010101021332324000
more every time I think of you.

Seriously can't believe I am crying murder.......
catching us both off guard, you weren't supposed to be a memory.

I hope '' their '' karma is a bitch. Obviously more then one of you assholes...










Chapter 3- Consequences








You are not alone. and I never lied, when I said, I love you, 
See me build my wide audience range. From the grungy to the royalty to the basics. Hoping for a survivor.

Say Freddie Mercury went missing:
Angels dive!! Elf's point!!

I'm doing the best I can.
 I cant believe authors are hand models.They must really lift a new wind.
 I have the prettiest middle fingers they are quick and snappy. Maybe a little crooked. Just out standing...

 Willing to be first to walk away when in a fight. Lasting no longer then a min and a half. I know enemies don't stop going for weapons...

Making myself dizzy. Really turns you on. I'm a dancing queen questioning our mortality. I'm like the girl with the smile, no- one wants to blink, and you the people I don't want to cry like I did.

I have issues yet I try hard... hard to think about this stuff so I write... yet odd songs catch me off guard and its how I think of him... I only have 1 bday present he gave me...

Really wish a lot...







Chapter-  4-  Miss You Too Much









Time has gone really slow the last hour, I think closed cub-bards has power over clocks. I'm pushing my endurance with my hands. My feet can no longer run. It's a face off.

I recognize I haven't accepted seniority since my Dads been around, saying happy birthday, singing the elmo song, going out to dinner, taking taxi's, stumbling upon a wheel of fortune.

In the back of my mind he's meant for holding me back. Good at making me laugh. Just by saying ''boo! You suck at being a bitch!..Be nice instead....'' And, he could insult me and get away with it lmao...

Glow: while I have a laugh attack so I can remember lighting this candle. I'm sorry for the third eye, that gets left stranded; in this world of leers, and taps.

I have mental health problems too. Been waiting for an appointment again for 6 months... so you know, I get some things... one for sure, I would not try to bring you down with me. In the end.

 
Denial stunts your growth. An ion of space shouting'' this is a competition for who's in the most rooms. And not dead.....yip. And, on top of things lmao...

I technically skipped a grade in being boxed-in. For wearing a costume made for the front page of ''People''. Like Rita McNeil, Or Whitney Houston. Cher even. So consider me kicked out... a long time ago...Literally had to cry, and stop some stuff to get to where I am now.

If you don't respect who I'm REALLY trying to save with my memory. My father and I. Then you don't understand the present. You don't understand how much I loved that man.

Wouldn't wish this on anyone..









Chapter 5- I Will Compromise




Find me intimidating?
 Minimalist's imagine peoples hearts with drawings. They are a big debt to me. Sometimes I may have ''nothing to lose'' Yet I know my soul, and sometimes I count even being angry as losing my soul... because I have so much ''better'' to offer...I piss myself off yet,' I could lap you in Dad jokes....and music, for the record- and I don't download by Artist, I download songs; by preference.

So you know what, we both may say fuck my bad mood, no- if/ ands /or buts- about it. I am sorry about it sometimes...


Especially, when it was confirmed my Papa Dukes was gone. What a dumb restraining order. What a dumb bankruptcy. What a dumb dog. What a bad friend. What neighbour? How'd it all go? Like magic. My Dad was gone, like magic.


We know if he's under the table, he might not be here forever.... and fuck the fucker that did it.

Its all about morals and values. 
If I don't stop- the train wreck won't stop. If you can't laugh, the terrorists win.

 
I'm spelling out brace with my heart, as the cushions lend out a shoulder for me to lean on, when I'm down. I always miss him.


Days with my thumbs up- I remember him, holding my chin saying ''don't roll your eyes.'' 

I dedicate this song to my father hes a duke.
 That likes pop, he says you got to stick you neck out to get ahead, his Dads name is ''Bud''. He had 5 siblings, 4 kids,  and the best birthday parties on Dec 10th since 1957..

The number 44 haunts me, all the time, my battery charge, the clock, the signs on the road. 

And now, its mostly comforting, to know you think of me, as much as I think of you, and we can't hang, but maybe we will have a lot to say, one day....


1/~Do you doubt my spontaneous memory? Ginkgo Biloba.

2/~Do you think about the cold people left for minimum sentencing feel? How about Dirty Cops?

3/~Don't you have a cue, people don't understand? How about a sheerness people people take advantage of?  True friends won't doubt your talent.

4/~Have robots updated? More then I know...

5/~Will I die from a robot? It is possible..

6/~Do you know what listening to an alarm and a teacher sounds like at the same time? Try dumb and dumber...its the most annoying sound in the world..

7/~Do you understand a quick recovery in a change of surrounding?  It just gets worse if you don't try...

8/ Is it the whole family or none of the family without you? I'll compromise...and wish upon a star..


If its worth the risk take the fall.
 If its what you want it s worth it all.

Miss you, xo

More How To Wishes



What I do in order to make a wish is think of The Angels Name 3 times, then conclude my wish.

I suggest thinking of our peoples Zodiacs, and making wishes when you can, these are the Angel of all different signs of the Zodiac.  including other Places/ Tarot Cards/ Dates


Arch Angel Rapheal is the Arch Angel to help with Immediate Danger.-------------------------====


Arch Angel Luke is the Arch Angel to help corresponding to the Hospital.---------------------=====


Arch Angel Gabriel is the Arch Angel helping with general Well Wishing.-----------------------=====


Arch Angel Christopher is the Arch Angel of Travelers.---------------------------------------=========


Purpose       Name of Angel

Sandalphon is the Kingdom Angel; Tree of Life, the Master of the 20th Tarot Card “Judgment”.-He also Heals Aggressive Tendencies and is known as the Angel of Glory.---------


Sandalphon

Angel of the Mountains--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Rampel


Ruler of Earth/Hail.------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Baradiel


Master of the 4th Tarot Card “The Emperor”.----------------------------------------------------

Malkhidael


Master of the 17th Tarot Card “The Star”.--------------------------------------------------------

Tzakmaqiel


Master of the 7th Tarot Card “The Chariot” ---------------------------------------------------


Pakhiel


Raguel helps you to Heal Relationships.----------------------------------------------------------


Raguel



Master of the 14th Tarot Card “Temperance”. Associated with Sagittarius-------------------


Adnachiel


Guardian of the Twelfth Mansion of the Moon and is associated with Leo-------------------


Abdizuel


Guardian of the Seventeenth Mansion of the Moon which is Scorpio.-------------------

Adriel


Protector and Ruler of the dates February 20-24; Pisces.----------------------

Eiael


Master of the 7th Tarot Card “The Chariot”. and is associated with the sun sign, Cancer.----------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


--Muriel


Protector and Ruler of the dates July 28-August 1; Leo.------------------------


Haaiah


Protector and Ruler of the dates June 11-15; Gemini.----------------------------


Luaviah


Protector and Ruler of the dates March 21- 25; Aries.------------------------


Vehuiah


Guardian of the Sixteenth Mansion of the Moon; Scorpio.-----------------------

Azeruel


Guardian of the Sixth Mansion of the Moon; Gemini.-----------------------------

Dira


Protector and Ruler of the dates August 23-28; Virgo.----------------------------


Lecabel


Protector and Ruler of the dates July 12-16; Cancer.------------------------------


Melahel
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



February 5-9- -------------------------------------------Mehiel
February 10-14------------------------------------------  Damabiah
June 27-July 1- ------------------------------------------ Pahaliah
July 23-27-  -------------------------------------------Nith-Haiah (Nithhaja)
August 7-12 -------------------------------------------Seheiah (Sehijah)
August 18-22 -------------------------------------------Omael
October 4-8 -------------------------------------------Rehael


There are other Angels that are partial to Tiger's Eye. The table below gives you the information about them.

Purpose Crystal Color Name of Angel
Angel of Grace Brown--------------------------------------------------------------------- Ananchel
Ruler of Earth/Lightning and the Angel of Chance and Luck. Brown--------------------- Baraqiel
Protector and Ruler of the dates February 10-14; Aquarius. Brown--------------------- Damabiah
Protector and Ruler of the dates February 5-9; Aquarius. Brown--------------------------- Mehiel
Protector and Ruler of the dates October 4-8; Libra. Brown--------------------------------- Rehael
Master of the 15th Tarot Card “Devil”.   Brown ----------------------------------------    Samaqiel
Guardian of the Fourteenth Mansion of the Moon; Virgo. Dk. Gold-------------------------- Ergediel
Risnuch helps you while Dealing with Agriculture and Animals. Dk. Gold-------------------- Risnuch
Ruler of Earth/Wind Dk. Gold --------------------------------------------------------------   Ruchiel
Samael is known as the Severity Angel; Tree of Life, is the Guardian of Tuesday, and the Ruler of Mars. Dk. Gold------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Samael
Protector and Ruler of the dates July 23-27; Leo. Dk. Yellow------------------------------ Nith-Haiah
Protector and Ruler of the dates August 18-22; Leo. Dk. Yellow------------------------------ Omael
Protector and Ruler of the dates June 27-July 1; Cancer. Dk. Yellow------------------------- Pahaliah
Protector and Ruler of the dates August 7-12; Leo. Dk. Yellow------------------------------- Seheiah
Master of the 8th Tarot Card “Strength” and is associated with Leo.   Dk. Yellow--------   Verchiel
Guardian of the Nineteenth Mansion of the Moon which is Scorpio. Gold-------------------- Amutiel
Gabriel------------- is the Foundation Angel and known as the Tree of Life. The Angel of  Monday, and the Ruler of the Moon, Earth, and Lighting. Gabriel is also the Master of the 2nd Tarot Card “The High Priestess” and Tarot Card 12 “The Hanged Man”. Gabriel is also the Angel of Pregnancies/Child Birth, the Angel of the North Wind, Creativity, and Truth. he is also associated with the sun sign Aquarius, and also the Guardian Fifth Mansion of the Moon; Taurus. Gold --------------------------------------------Gabriel
Master of the 2nd Tarot Card “The High Priestess”. Gold---------------------------------- Schelachel
Uriel is the Master of the 21st Tarot Card “The World”. Also, he Heals Resentment and is the Ruler of the South Wind. Uriel is also known as the Angel of Music and Repentance, and is associated with the sun sign, Libra. Gold--------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Uriel
Master of Tarot Card 0 “The Fool”.     Lt. Gold-------------------------------------------   Chassan
Angel of the Mountains. Lt. Gold ---------------------------------------------------------   Rampel



MUSIC 3











MUSIC 2












MUSIC 1













SCARY STUFF



              1/  Lady Gaga was in a horror movie called ''Hotel.''

              2/  Organized Crime is after foreign exchange and oil.

              3/  Forensic Science can tell your age. sex. and race by a strand of your hair.

              4/ In Colonial America, lobster was served to inmates in jail.

               5/ Year 2040 we will be able to go to Mars.

              6/ In 1845 in Boston your needed a prescription to have a bath.

              7/ Winston Churchill smokes 10 cigars a day.

              8/ Lightning is 30 000 degrees celcius hotter then the sun.

              9/ Super cells are the worst kind of Thunderstorms.

              10/ The Parikutin Volcano grew 2774 meters while erupting from the year 1943- 1952.'

               11/ No means no.

              12/ Year 2040 we will be able to go to Mars.

               13/  Would you call Freddie Krugar to tell you stories?

              14/ Balancing a knife on your tongue.

              15/ Step out of your comfort zone.

               16/ Mark my words.

               17/ Worship the ground you walk on

              18/ Death takes no bribes
          
             19/ Watching horror movies can burn more than 180 calories..



RANDOM FACTS/ DEFINITIONS







I study new things everyday to motivate myself, to have hope, that there is purpose, and surprises, and things to be ready for, and remedies, and prescriptions, you know, the light at the end of the tunnel stuff. So I have gathered so much I will organize it here now, from my Ipod, and share some fun or maybe even some odd facts with you.







1/ Gummy bears are rockets fuel. {( Myth Busters )}

2/ No oxygen in space.

3/ Rainfalls at 17 miles/ an hour.

4/ At 30 year old you are a billion seconds of age, 11 days makes 1 million.

5/ Spinach cells and skin used for skin casings in heart surgery.

6/ An attosecond is 1 billionth of a second.

7/ Snap chat logo is called Ghost Face Chillah.

8/ Whats on your mind? Is it Cute aggression? Bed head? Or an Intervention?

9/ The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog, uses every letter in the alphabet.

10/ Remcloud is the website to enter, to discuss your dreams.

11/ The first train was 8 km/ 5mph

12 16 ounces to 1 lb/ 1 kilo is 2.10 lbs

13/ '' Pez'' was invented in 1927.

14/ Diet Coke was introduced in 1982.

15/ February 18th 1979 it snowed in The Sahara Desert.

16/ Cresote Bushes in the Mohave Desert are 12,000 years old.

17/ There is 3 golf balls on the moon.

18/ See the best in you.

19/ Burn 20 calories/ an hour by chewing gum.

20/ With the moon directly above you/ Or by eating Bananas/ Or Green Apples- you weight less.'

21/ Broccoli has a nervous system.

22/ No means no, Gnome saying

23/ Not conforming, yet doing your job.

24/ Too good to be true.

25/ Deserve to be celebrated/ not tolerated.

26/ Microwave is a clock that cooks stuff.

27/ It is the uplook that counts.

28/ Down/ Not out.

29/ Your either negotiating: Terms/ or Price. Never both.

30/ Give an arm for you.

31/ Always when you least expect it.

32/ Never stay still.

33/ May the odds ever be in your favor.

34/ 80% of Rolls Royce's are still on the road.

35/ It is all gravy.

36/ Sometimes a string is all you get.

37/ Can't rest a finger

38/ Never a girl too beautiful.

39/ The devil cries.

40/ Best defense is a good offence.

41/ 2% of people have green eyes

42/ Fruit salad tree bear several kinds of fruit,

43/ 27 people fit in a mini car

44/ Commercials rock.

45/ Poor sense of smell is common for psychos.

46/  In the mountain of a Toblerone there is a bear, hidden in the picture

47/ On a Fed Ex Truck there is a hidden arrow between Fed and Ex- constantly moving forward.

48/ The emblem on A Rolls Royce is called '' the spirit of ecstasy. ''

49/ Mudras are the coolest Yoga for the hands....

50/ 3 Dogs survived The Titanic.

51/  Erocktation- means burping, in other terms.

52/  Jump from the cock to the donkey- switch topics a lot.

53/ Slide in on a shrimp sandwich- Born with a silver spoon in their mouth without doing any work.

54/ Balls of a swan- impossible
      When pigs fly- impossible

55/ The Hen sees the snakes feet and the snake sees the hens boobs- you have no secrets.

56/ A Dog with feces scolds A Dog with husky grain- when a person of lower status uses insults with nothing but poop for support.

57/ Cleaner then a frogs armpit- flat broke.

58/ In the mouth of a wolf- good luck
      In the whales ass- good luck

59/ Rats jumping in your stomach- hungry

60/ More then one way to skin a cat- More then one way to achieve an aim

61/ By the skin of your teeth- barely

62/ Skeletons in the closet- embarrassing secret.

63/ Snakes in the grass- treacherous person feigning friendship./

64/ Check yourself, don't wreck youself

65/ Samiophobia- A fear of Halloween.

66/ There is too many tires in the desert.

67/ We have an artery the size of a garden hose.

68/ Gatorade was named after the Florida Gators.

69/ Umbrellas look cool on tall ceilings.

70/ Nike was first called Blue Ribbon Sports.

71/ Anxiety disengages the front part of your brain which inhibits flexible thinking/ decision making.

72/ Oscar the Grouche was originally orange.

73/ Smiles are immortal, everyone smiles in the same language.

74/ Snow is full of pollution.

75/ Seaweed tastes like bacon.

76/ Hells Kitchen pampers you once you are fired from the show.

77/ Gold in the ocean, is adding up.

78/ Fidgeting means you have a good memory.

79/ Moon dust smells like gum.

80/ 1/ 3,000 babies are born with a tooth.

81/ Swan Song- they don't sing until they are about to die.

82/ There is a brand of contacts, you can wear while you are sleeping, so you don't have to wear them during the day.

83/  Watermelon reduces stress and anxiety.

84/ African Pine Cone Flowers, and huge.

85/ No ''J's'' in The Periodic Table.

86/ A thousand snowballs showed up at the beach in Surbia.

87/ Bones are 4 times stronger then concrete.


++++++++++++++

88- HMV- Means '' his masters voice.''

89- A house shaped like a dog

90- A car with a brick paint job- would look so camouflaged I'd kill you myself.

91- Caffeine prevents cataracts

92- Aces in their places.

93- The more you have of it- the less you see it- what is it??? The darkness

94- Supervision sounds more cool then it is

95- Satisfaction feels like foever

96- all about persistence and awareness

97- Did you hear the phone dazzle you with its charm?

98- love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence

99- love is telling someone to go to hell then hoping the get their safely

100- I always wanted to date an archeologist the older they are the more interesting they become

101- words without power is philosophy

102- You cant use up creativity...the more you use.,..the more you have!

103- Somewhere it rains without gravity...

104- Nothing messes up a friday except realizing its wednesday

105- Love all- Trust a few...do wrong to none..

106- The google self driving car should have an '' I am feeling lucky button' that drives you to a random location.

PRANKS/ JOKES


I study new things everyday to motivate myself, to have hope, that there is purpose, and surprises, and things to be ready for, and remedies, and prescriptions, you know, the light at the end of the tunnel stuff. So I have gathered so much I will organize it here now, from my Ipod, and share some fun or maybe even some odd facts with you.




1/ First one to fall asleep gets toothpaste over their lips.

2/ Replace the centre of the oreo, with toothpaste.

3/ Place full cups of water everywhere.'

4/ An air horn attached to a chair, or a door.

5/ Chewbacka roar contest.

6/ Spray on nail polish

7/  Singing Christmas Carols on the bus in the middle of July.

8/ Pinching your cheek saying, you little petunia

9/ No clocks in Los Vegas

10/ A severed foot, is an ultimate stocking stuffer.

11/ When you walk by someone with their lawn sprinkler on, and you place the sprinkler by the front door.

12/ What is a sharks favourite game?  Swallow the leader!!

13/ Stand in the corner if you are cold, they are 90 degrees F

14/ What color is a chamilion in the mirror?

15/ Best thing since sliced bread.

16/ Wipe that look off your face!

17/ You are going to eat your fingers off!

18/  I am feeling better then a meter maid meeting her quota.

19/ I appreciate the finer things in life.

20/ Don't apologize for greatness. Greatness equals greatness.

21/ Taste the rainbow.

22/ I got 99 problems hard work ain't one.

23/ If it ain't broken, don't fix it.'

24/ 9 times out of 10 it is not a set- kevin heart and dywanna Johnson.

25/ If you can't laugh, the terrorists win.

26/ Funny shadows on youtube.

27/ Do your time, don't let your time do you.

28/ Down/ Not out.

29/ I'll put the odds against it all.

30/ Put a seashell to my ear, and say out loud, I heard the ocean, call you a dork.

31/ What happened to that 5 hundred dollars I gave you 10 years ago.

32/ Wake me up when dinosaurs exist again!

33/ Mind over matter.

34/ You smelt it, you dealt it.

35/ The lottery is a feeling.

36/ All for one/  One for all

37/ The game is to be sold, and not to be told it was predictable.

38/ Don't be limited by peoples limited imaginations.

39/  My cat is left handed.

40/ My next fish is female.

41/ No more further details.

42/ What hair style do zombies get at the salon? Dread Locks!

43/ Where do monsters park their car? In the grrrrr- age

44/ What did the gunman say when he ran out of bullets? Shoot!!

45/ Why do lines outreign circles in races? Because they get straight to the point!!

46/ Who is found between June, and December? JASON!! {( July, August, September, October, November)}

47/ Under dogs on the swing.

48/ Double Bubble ran out of comics.

49/ Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Two- tired!!!

50/  What do you call a fish out of water? A cat fish!!

51/ Where does bad light go? To prism!

52/ There was a sale on particles this week! Neutrons were free of charge!!

53/ Your silly

54/ Wayne's Worlds was filmed in 34 days.

55/ Hershey's chocolate is used to create fake blood in movies.

56/Otters bite females otter nose off during humping season..

57/ Balance knife on tongue.

58/ A jeep turned into a desk.

59/ It is normal to say people are weird.

60/ Side walk solar egg baking contest- 15-20 min

61/ If I told you I would have to kill you.

62/ Possibility model, or role model? Well written, or well spent?

63/ I put your hand on my hip, then I tip, you tip, we tip,

64/ I appreciate my high expectations.

65/Netflix is my valentine..

66/ Do not give Bisen psychoactive drugs

67/ Who told you, you had a choice?

68/ Fee fi fo fum

69/ A pillow tie, inflates into a tie like a pillow.

70/ A plastic pen lid, shaped like a utensil.

71/ Rotating ice cream holder

72/ If you can nfit threw a dog door you can escape jail.

73/Try and go a year without '' made in china'' items.

74/ The cup that spills if too full of wine.

75/  You have to live for some people to go away.

76/ Heads or Tails for an extra muffin at the muffin store called double or muffin.

77/ Die, doing a youtube video.

78/ Martha Stewart dated Anthony Hopkins.

79/  Why was the broom late? It over swept!!!

80/ World Star.

++++++++++


81- Stressed is just ' desserts' spelt backwards

82- When cows laugh does milk come out of their noses?

83- what do you get when you put a radio in the fridge? cool music

84- This is my step ladder- never knew my real ladder..

85- When you eat all the donuts and your eyes glaze over.

86- I should make a mushroom omelette- a mushroom omelette of champigions.

87- How does a vegan begin grace before meals?----- Lettuce pray.

88- What do you call fake pototoes??------- Imitators..

89- Why do gay people keep smiling?!?! Because they can't keep a straight face!!

90- What do you call a denim expert?! A Jeanius!!

91- I burned 2000 calories yesterday- left the brownies in the oven too long..

92- What do you call 52 pieces of bread?!--- A deck of carbs

93- My wife told me dont get upset if someone calls you fat!! You are much bigger then that!!

94- How do you know if  a sniper likes you? They miss you.

95- The only thing flat earthers fear- is sphere itself.

96- I tell dad jokes but I am not a dad- i am a faux pas!

97- My co-workers are like christmas lights!! Half of them dont work, and the other half aren't very bright!

98- My wife is a body builder- yip- shes pregnant!

99- What is 50 cents name in Zimbabwe???!! 200 Dollars!!|

100- I was going to start a bourbon company- but i heard its a whiskey business!!

101- My grandfather is 85 and still doesn't need glasses- he drinks straight from the bottle!!

102- What do you call a nervouse javelin thrower? Shakepsear!

103- What do you call an eagle that can play piano?!!! Talonted!!

104- Have you heard about the film constipation? Probably not because it isn't out yet!!!

105- What did the judge say to the dentist?~!? Do you swear to pull the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?!

106- I had a rough day then somebody went and ripped the front and back pages from my dictionary. It juss goes from bad- to worse!!

107- The bomb didn't want to go off....so it refused...

108- When does a farmer dance? When he drops a beet!!

109- What is it called when you put a cow in an elevator?!!?! Raising the steaks!!

110- What happens when you own too many dogs? A rover dose!!

111- Whats it called when someone eats a frozen apple?!!?! Hardcore!!

112- How do you become a vaccuum cleaner? You clean your vacuum.

113- What do you call a semi cool vegetable? Rad-ish!!

114- Know who knows how to make a good entrance?? a carpenter!!

115- Whats it called when a chicken sits on top of the barn??? an eggroll!!!

116- 7 days without puns....makes 1 weak...

117- Why did the snowman name is dog frost?! Cuz frost bites...

118- Whats a soldier favorite date?! March 4th..

119- What do you call a snowman with a 6 pack? An abdominal snowman!

120- What does it take to be  zombie?!?!? Deadication!

121- Which way did the programmer go?!?! They went data way!!!

122- What did the cell say when it stubbed its toe? Ouch!! Mitosis!!

123- What do you call a t-rex that sells guns?!?! A small arms dealer?!?!

124- If money doesnt grow on trees? Why are different set of banks called branches?!?!

 125- Why cant you bend a coin?!? Because change is hard..

126- why did the woman buy bird seed??!?!? She wanted to grow birds?!?!

127- Whats a frogs favorite shoes? Open toad sandals?!!?!?

128- What do golfers do on there day off???? Putter Around?!?!?!

129- what do you call an apology via morse code??? Remorse code!!

130- What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long??? A pi-thon!!

131-  I saw a baguette in a cage...the keep told me it was bread in capitivity.

132-  Bread is like the sun...it rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist.

133- What do you call 2 monkeys that share an amazon account???? Prime mates!!!

134- What washes up on tiny beaches???? Microwaves!!

135- What its calle dwhen Mozart thinks of music?? Making a mental note!!

136- Why dont u see the elephants hiding in the trees??? cuz they r good at it!!

137- Espresso may not solve all your problems..yet it is worth a shot!

138- How many applesa grow on trees??? All of them!!

My Dukes Poetry In Motion

Chapter 1- Should of Run This Town If your ecstasy shifts from oaths too I don't knows, in a predicament. Line yourself up...